How do I explain to my wife that what she walked in on was me administering 1st aid by sucking snake venom...?

Quite tough to explain snake venom story eddie ! I had relatively simpler occasion when a female colleague had asthmatic attack and we though as her pulse is gone , it is heart attack , so as per doctors advice I gave her mouth to mouth breathing before he could rush and also pushed hard her chest. ( Btw she had one of the finest which my wife knew ! ) I thought I would on my own tell wife what happened, so after going home told her everything. Omg - I was not allowed any for 15 days after that ! so ur story of upper thigh and around area, snake ( lol ) etc etc is hard to explain to suspicious wife